Bike to work day

Friday May 20, 2011, was National Bike to Work day.  Since I freelance, I don’t really “commute” but I do try to ride my bike every time I have to go into downtown Austin.

Also, all the local bike shops, coffee shops and other local biz were hooking cyclists up with a li’l free continental breakfast as part of the celebration of more bikes on the roads.

I totally scammed em all cause I wasn’t actually going to work. Unless you count work as riding around to all the breakfast stops. Since I felt guilty about this deception I ended up staying on the road a lot longer than I had planned for and put in just over 50 miles of bike riding. That’s a personal record. I hadn’t done more than 30 miles before yesterday.

Along the way I snapped pics of my old Sears brand early 1990s trapper-keeperesque-splatter-paint-framed 12 speed bike in front of interesting Austin landmarks.

In Republic Square park downtown. Iconic "Frosty" the Frost Tower in background
Shot from the north side of the Texas State Capitol Building
UT fountain + The Deadly Tower starring Kurt Russel
The original Kerbey Lane Cafe on Kerbey Lane just north of 38th street
Daniel Johnston mural on the corner of Guadalupe and 21st street
Moonlight tower at Guadalupe and 9th street. The towers were constructed in 1895 for citywide illumination. Several are still standing, and they are kept in working order.
Austin City Hall
Author O. Henry's house on 5th street downtown. Also the site of the Annual Pun-Off. I sold all my puns to buy my wife a present, so I won't be attending.
Lunch stop at kebabalicious. The tastiest turkish style wraps you can find in Austin. Beef, lamb, chicken and homemade falafal.
Trailhead for Shoal Creek Trail at Lamar at 29th street.
More Shoal Creek Trail
Art installation that doubles as a giant picnic table. Seaholm Power Plant in background
Lamar bridge for bikes and pedestrians. Austin skyline and Ghost Bike
Under MoPac Expressway
Somewhere along the Barton Creek greenbelt. With enough rain, this becomes a decent swimming hole.

Breakfast Scammer Score

Free Coffee: x2

Free Bagel x1

Free Breakfast Taco x2

Free Energy Bars: a pile

Toby Keith resigns

Like many an American tonight, I couldn’t sleep very well due to the exciting explosion of news about Osama Bin Laden’s capture/death. So, after a few hours combing the web for more Bin Laden details, I tried to work on some stuff I’ve been putting off. Couldn’t do that either. Then, a friend of mine, Patrick, posted something on Facebook which reminded me that there is one man who will be resting well tonight. TOBY KEITH. I found that I could write about THAT, at least:



TK leans over a Kitchen island counter, staring at the TV. He takes a puff of his cigarette and ashes into a beer can. He appears weary. CAMERA PANS UP to reveal that he has the entire population of the United States sitting on his shoulders.

…On screen we see a NEWS REPORTER talking of Osama Bin Laden’s death.

Finally, after nearly 10 years, justice has been served, Americans can perhaps rest a bit eas…

TK turns the tv OFF, and drops his cigarette into the beer can. We hear it briefly SIZZLE.


Affixed to the walls of his home office are numerous gold record plaques and framed photos of TK with his fans and various celebrities and politicians.
TK walks over to a large DRESSER the size of the continental United States. He begins to slowly take each GOD FEARIN’ CITIZEN from off his shoulders, one by one, and places them into the drawers of the dresser.

You the man, Toby!

Thanks, TK.

He pulls the DIXIE CHICKS down from his shoulders and looks at them lovingly.

(singing in perfect harmony)
Fuck you, Toby Keith!

TK laughs warmly and pets their hair, and then gingerly places them into the drawer. Finally, he places the last American Citizen into the dresser. He SIGHS DEEPLY and pushes the drawer shut. TK stares at the dresser, wiping dust from the top.

(grinning, shaking his head)


TK enters his bedroom, switching on a Lamp by the door. His wife gently SNORES in bed. In the background, across the hall, we see his Office, a cone of light directly pouring over the dresser. TK takes his Carhartt jacket off, exposing a shoulder strap HOLSTER. In the holster, a single MICROPHONE. He takes the Mic from the holster and stares at it, turning it, inspecting it. The microphone glints in the light – dents and scratches showing its age and mileage. TK puts the microphone into an old purple Crown Royal bag and then tucks it into his night-stand. He walks back to the door and stares at the U.S.A-sized dresser across the hall. He rubs his right shoulder, massaging it. He shakes his head and turns the lamp OFF.

In the DARKNESS, we can barely make out a moonlight-rimmed TK, sitting down on his bed, rubbing his shoulder again.